The Care That Knows How to Step Back

Today's original call was very short. There was no long Dharma talk, but even within that brief conversation there is a mind worth examining. It is the scene of offering a greeting, noticing that the other person is not in a situation to receive it, and quietly stepping back without asking more.

At times, we think we must finish saying what we want to say. When we have prepared words and something we want to confirm, our own mind can easily come before the other person's situation. But if the other person cannot receive it right now, noticing that moment and stopping is consideration.

Stepping back does not mean making the relationship distant. It means respecting the other person's place and knowing that now is a time to wait. Even in the attitude of greeting briefly, wishing someone a good day, and not pressing further, there is practice that cultivates the mind.

Warmth does not require many words. Sometimes one greeting and quiet understanding convey a deeper heart. Even when I do not receive the answer I wanted, if I do not grow disappointed and first consider the other person's circumstances, the relationship becomes more at ease.

Today, in front of someone's door, in front of the phone, or at the edge of a conversation, pause for a moment. Look to see whether you need to say more now, or whether quietly stepping back would be better. The consideration that notices and steps back is also practice that makes the day clear.