Notice the Mind's First Stirring
We sometimes readily declare, “I no longer get angry” or “I have no greed.” Yet quiet outward reactions do not mean that every pull and push deep in the mind has disappeared. We need to look closely at the moment the body tenses, the mind that quickly judges another person, and the force that clings to being right.
In Buddhism, the process by which a very subtle movement of mind beginning in ignorance gradually unfolds into discrimination and attachment, action and suffering, is known as samse yukchu, the “three subtle and six coarse aspects.” Even before thoughts of liking and disliking become clear, a split begins between the seeing self and the object seen, and countless judgments and habits are woven upon it.
Picture a single thread at a loom first slipping out of alignment. If the shuttle keeps moving before the small misalignment is noticed, the whole pattern of the cloth can become distorted. Rather than trying to correct it by pulling at the finished cloth, we must find the thread that first went astray.
The mind works in the same way. Instead of regretting angry words only after they have burst out, notice the first sign: the chest tightening and the impulse to push someone away. Instead of blaming yourself only after acting on greed, first see the pull that says your mind will rest only when you have more.
Awareness is not forcibly suppressing or hating the mind that has arisen. We simply see, “This mind has arisen,” without immediately carrying it into speech or action. Then we do not add strength to the process by which affliction is woven into greater karma.
The work of fully illuminating the ground of these very subtle movements of mind is deep and difficult. Yet today's practice is not far away. Begin with what can be noticed now: tension in the body, pulling and pushing, and the thought that insists it must be right. Faithfully attending to the first visible sign becomes a doorway to deeper wisdom.
Therefore, instead of trying only to eliminate the rough waves, attend to the beginning where the mind first moves. When we notice and stop before a thought is woven into discrimination and attachment, a space opens in which we need not repeat the same habit.
Strong anger and greed do not appear suddenly. The mind's subtle pull and push pass through discrimination and attachment before becoming speech and action. When we notice the first movement and do not follow it at once, we can keep from feeding further affliction.
